(no subject)

[cometoruin]

[you come home to some asshole draped over a chair, eating your pudding and stealing your man]

Aren't you going to ask me what I've been up to?

Comments

[jetlagged]

... I don't really feel pain, that's why.

[coffeerobots]

... How come?

[jetlagged]

Because I can't die.

[only mostly true]

[coffeerobots]

... Is there a painting of you somewhere?

[jetlagged]

Pretty sure there isn't.

[coffeerobots]

[mutters]

He'd love you.

[jetlagged]

What?

[coffeerobots]

Nothing. You're dumb.